Six grader Sara Jenkins has written a haunting poem about the ocean, not the sunny vista of Summer days but the depths and their secrets. Her ability to move this poem along in a compelling way impresses me. Sound effects (look at that second stanza...) work beautifully. Line breaks are good, as are the three-line stanzas, with the closing pared to two, clean and a bit scary. This piece reminds me of the Swedish poet Tomas Transtromer's "Deep Down."
THE OCEAN
by Sara Jenkins
The sound of waves
crashing down
bothers me.
Its depth I fear
and things that swim the waters
with arms and legs and daggers.
The shipmates
lost at war
haunt the waters.
The secrets
never revealed.
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Sara lives in Franklin, NC. Her parents are Tanya and Shannon Jenkins. Like Abrianna Berry she attends Macon Middle School.
2 comments:
Well done, Sara! And hoorah for the teachers who are encouraging their students to produce such fine poetry!
Thanks for your encouraging comments, Vicki. These teachers have been doing a fabulous job over in Macon County!
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