THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST

Humorous poetry may be the hardest kind to write, and there's no better humorist in verse right now than Calvin Trillin. Not only is the following poem one of his best, it's also one of the best poems I've read in a while. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have--and still do.


The Best and the Brightest
Deadline Poet
By Calvin Trillin
This article appeared in the April 6, 2009 edition of The Nation.

We cannot attract and retain the best and the
brightest talent to lead and staff the AIG businesses...
if employees believe their compensation is subject to
continued and arbitrary adjustment.

--AIG chair Edward M. Liddy,
defending the payment of $165 million in bonuses
to employees of a firm that has required
$170 billion in government bailout funds


-----
Yes, billions they lost in one quarter.
This bothers them not in the slightest.
They still want a bonus for failure,
For they are the best and the brightest.

You'd think, with the damage they'd done, they'd
Apologize, at their politest.
But they want a bonus for failure,
For they are the best and the brightest.

No bonus? Well, then they might leave, though
The job market's shrunk to its tightest,
And Burger King now is competing
To hire the best and the brightest.


About Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist.